Where is the hope?

"But, while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. 
"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate."

Luke 15:20b-24

I got home on Thursday night. On Friday night, it started raining. It has rained all through the night and, as I sit outside, this morning. Rain is God's way of telling me everything is going to be okay. 

It's taken every ounce of strength God has given me to not cry every second of every day. I knew this trip was going to change me. But I didn't know it would be like this. I didn't know the conflict that I found feel coming home. I've gotten to sleep in the comfort of my own bed. I've seen family and a few friends. I know I have been welcomed home. 

I didn't expect to be back so soon. I didn't know that I would process like this. I just didn't know. The only way I know how to describe how I feel is in the passage above...

I am filled with compassion for them. For the women. For the children. Even for the men. 

They are all broken. 

But, in that brokenness, there is hope. There is always hope, because of our Savior. 

A beautiful girl, named Sarah, waited for two months for rescue. She was 15 years old.  For two long, bleak months she waited. But there was hope. She knew rescue was coming. Rescue came. 

Our hope cannot be in any person or thing besides Christ. He is our only hope. In Him, all things are possible.  

There is always a first...

I cried tonight.
I sat at Dairy Queen, eating my blizzard, explaining to my brother what Thailand was like for me.
And I just cried.
For the first time, I put it into words.
I relived moments.
I saw those memories vividly.
I saw those faces, some smiling, some hollow. 
I couldn't stop.
When you are wrapped up in a story, it doesn't matter what's going on around you.
It was the first time I cried because of what I saw.
My brother knew that I needed to cry.
He listened to my story. My feelings. My words.
He understood why I was crying.
My heart is utterly broken for the brokenness in the women and children I saw.
It lies in shambles.
I have a lot of praying and processing to do still.
But it has begun.

Day 1

Today we spent some of the day with Annie Dieselberg at the NightLight headquarters and the other parts we spent with Matt Parker who is with The Exodus Road.

Southeast Asia is a beautiful place. We spent the vast majority of it seeing the city and hearing stats/stories about trafficking. It was heart wrenching to hear, but even more to see the night life. All I did was walk by the bars. But it was enough for me. I knew I couldn't handle it.

These women and men are so broken. Most people have trouble understanding that these men are hurting just like the women. Maybe not in the same way, but hurting nonetheless. 

Pray for this place.
Pray for this people. 
Pray for the team.

It's HERE!

It feels surreal.
But it is finally here.
Today is the day.
Thailand, here we come.

So many emotions.
So much excitement.
Knowing that God is in it.
God is moving.
It is not my story, but His.

Prayer List

-Safe Travels
-Protect each of the team and the organizations from the enemy
-Unity on the team
-Direction for our pastor
-Divine appointments
-focus on the trip
-free of distractions
-God to move in ways that we have never seen
-get better. I'm sick

Bomb DOT Com

This is the first day that I haven't thought about how many days until I go to Thailand. Well, until this moment I haven't thought about it. It is so close.


We have to prepare a devotional that we're giving to the team on the trip. Paul, my pastor, suggested that we think about what God has been teaching us and go from there. I haven't thought about this devotional until today, when Meagan, a friend going on the trip with me, mentioned it to me.


Last February, I decided to go on this Thailand trip with my friend, Jenna. She wasn't able to go, but we made a decision that we were going to try and do crazy things for God. I feel like I did that in 2012. I was in N. Ireland for a month. God brought the right amount of money to get me fully funded for that in the nick of time. The Thailand trip got moved from November to January. God knew that I needed to be done with college before I left; it's all his perfect timing.


I sat and listened this morning to a wise woman speaking about how we know the Bible to be true. A lot of my perspective on this has come from knowing that it was inspired by God. But she had us look at it from a different angle. She was saying that it all comes back to Jesus.

I don't know about you, but I LOVE talking about Jesus. Last year, around this time, Jesus became so real to me. Not that he hadn't been before, but it just changed. He wasn't just God's son, he is God, that put aside "his garments of glory, for the clothes of a baby (lyrics by Dana Kirkland)." I love that imagery. Jesus, the God of the Universe. The Creator of all things. The Son of God. The King of Kings. The Lord of Lords. Immanuel. My precious Jesus, set aside his Kingship for a few years, just to be with us on earth. It just gives me the chills every time I think about it. But I digress.

To me, that's what it should always come back to...Jesus. He is our source. He is our Savior. Jesus is different than all of the world. He makes the gospel and everything about it unique, beautiful and relate-able. Every day, we need to come back to Jesus. It says in His word that his mercies are new every morning. But we have to choose to follow him. That's why it says, "pick up your cross and follow me." Jesus said that. If he said it, then I'm doin it, no matter what. Jesus is the bomb dot com!!

I Leave The 16th!

Welp, this Sunday we had a meeting with the team. There are 8 of us. I'm the youngest. The team includes 3 men (one being the pastor) and 5 women. I still can't believe this is happening.

We leave next Wednesday. My own obstacle is that I go with my JH students this weekend to Winter Camp. I get back on Sunday, only to turn around and leave at 7am on Wednesday. Crazy stuff. I don't know about you, but I have to have some recovery time after camp with my students. I know God is in this and he has a plan. But prayer for plenty of recovery and preparation for Thailand would be greatly appreciated!

I'm so ecstatic to see what God does on this trip. It will be an incredibly new and different experience for me. I'm not afraid for my safety at all, I'm more worried about my heart. It will be difficult to see all of the things we will see there. I can't fully imagine it, at all.

At the meeting, on Sunday, it hit me that these women that we will see are real people. I knew they were before this, but it didn't hit me that they are sisters to someone. They are mothers. They are daughters. They are best friends with someone. And that someone has to live with the fact their sister is living out these horrors. It became very real for me. I almost started bawling in that meeting, but I waited til I got home. It's heart wrenching.

My requests for prayer:
-Safety for the team
-Recovery for me after Winter Camp
-Wisdom for the pastor leading us
-Protection from Spiritual warfare
- Quick resolution of conflict between people on the team during the trip

Thank you for all of your support and encouragement, friends. It is greatly appreciated!

THAILAND: 13 Days

Even though I've been waiting to go to Thailand since like LAST MAY, it is still crazy to me that is less than 2 weeks away.

We're have two contacts there. I've heard both of the founders speak about their organizations. Their passion is incredible and unmatched by many. Their desire for the Lord to move through their organizations is awe-inspiring. Both of these organizations are in Thailand, rescuing girls and giving them hope.

The first organization is called The Exodus Road. If you want to check out their website, click the link. Or, if you want to read what I've written about them, click here. Their organization is a covert-ops group that goes into brothels to rescue young girls. But they don't just rescue them, they get the authorities involved and are able to arrest the pimps who run these brothels. This is a huge part that most people don't think about; if we want to protect these girls, we have to put people that put them to work behind bars.

The second organization is called NightLight International. Several months ago, I listened to Annie Dieselberg speak about her organization. It was moving. She has this way about her that you know that she is doing this because the Lord is with her. Her organization is different than many. NightLight brings hope to women by going in the bars and talking to them. When they are ready to leave, the organization picks them up and brings them to their safe house. NIghtLight then provides these women with a job, so they can support themselves. But it doesn't stop there, they have a church for the women, classes they can take, and sweet fellowship with other women.

I can't wait to go and be a part of this life-changing experience. I can't wait to see how God moves. And I certainly cannot wait to be on this adventure!