Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Lightbulb!

With all of the crazy things thrown at me at this point in my life, I'm not super willing to hear anything other than what I know is truth. Simply because it's easier to cope that way. I know what I know because God has given me specific instruction, and truth to lean on. So, in other words, I don't feel like my eyes have been opened to see other people's perspectives; due to sitting in my pain and sadness. Yup, I'm willing to admit it.

Regardless of all this, my desire is see life from other people's perspectives. Empathize with their pain, joy, craziness and, above all else, who they are. It may seem silly, but this is something that I need to do. Not only for myself, but for those close to me.

I came to the realization that if I were one of my friends, I would worry about me. Not because of any surface matter, but because of the stuff I knew was goin on in my heart. Unfortunately, I haven't been willing to really dig deep and work through that. The bouncing off of ideas and thoughts hasn't been real high on my to-do list, if you know what I mean.

So, it comes down to this. Are you willing to let out what's going on in your heart? Do you have someone that you can be completely open and honest with? Are you able to bounce ideas, be real, let your guard down and be free to sound like a total moron? I am. At least, now I am. I'm ready. To take the next step, to stand in the gap and proclaim to the world that I want healing! I want my brokenness to mended, my wounds to be healed, and the moving forward to insist.

The best part is that I know that God wants this for me as well. He was just waiting for me to get this point. I'm ready, God. Let's go.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

wishing i could think of kewler title names...

Good morning sunshine, the world says hello! -Willy Wonka (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)

Even though technically, it's not morning here, i'm sure it is somewhere in the world. Just not here :)

Living. Breathing. Speaking. Singing. Doing. Hearing. Knowing. Loving.

Hmmm...Thoughts of the day:
God calls us to know his truth. But it's a concious decision to know his truth and to live in that truth every moment of the day. Cause sometimes, you can know it, but you won't always live in it.

Truth: God has a plan for us. His plan is a zillion times better than our plan. He wants us to surrender. Fully. Not just half-way. He wants us to be in complete surrender to Him. Meaning that, no matter what, we are letting him have control. But it's not just one day out of the 7 days of the week. It's second by second.
Fact: It's gonna be hard. God didn't tell us it would be easy.
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4
The best part though, is knowing that God is with us.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6
When our Father, the King of the Universe, the best friend who is always there, gives us attention, he will not turn away. So when you think he's not there, he is. Take comfort, my friends. Take comfort in Him.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Word Vomit

Back in 2008, my english teacher told me that sometimes the best writing that we can come up with is when we are able to clear our heads completely and just write whatever comes to mind. But everything in your head just has to come out on paper...or in this case, on the web :) so here goes some stuff, just to clear my head and get everything on the perverbial table.

to understand and be understood. sometimes i wonder how anyone can really know what is going on in a persons head. we try to comprehend what people tell us about their lives and all that is going on, but really, we can't fully understand what they are trying to tell us, becase we don't know what exactly is going on in their head. As with most people, you never hear the full story. all you hear is what one person, from their perspective is telling you. you hear what you want to hear. yes, we all have selective hearing to an extent, even if you're not willing to admit it. and when people start talking, there is no stopping them. even with all of the stuff that we try to tell ourselves people aren't saying about us, it's probably coming out in not the most pleasant way. Yet, if we are willing to ask someone, it won't necessarily be the truth. but then that crosses the line of why we lie. i guess it's just a thing some do, but i just don't understand. it's all about what that person sees as right and wrong. and i don't think you'll ever fully agree with someone. mostly because you'll know their heart fully. they only person that will know you're heart fully is Jesus. He knows your every thought, every whim, every desire, every reason. there is nothing you can hide from him. and as you move forward and seek him, you will hear him so clearly. you will know him so much better. but the best part is that he will tell you what to do, where to go and how to do it. even when you think nothing is going the right way, and you just can't get anyone to understand. he does. he knows exactly how to help and the best way to do it. he knows what you need to hear and what to put in your path to know it's him and no one else. as i sit and comtemplate the omniscience of my God, i'm in awe. the reason is so simple, he knows what is going on in my head. he knows how to deal with me, he knows what my reasoning in, he knows that i'm not lying, he knows everything. and when i let him be my everything, things go so much smoother. the awesomest part of life is knowing that he has got it. i will never ever please the world like it wants me to, because i am called to a high standard. i will never be able to have everyone happy with me. it's just not possible. but learning that, accepting that, and moving forward with that is key. you can't just not do what God has told you to do because everyone and their mother is telling you not to. it's just not acceptable. no, my friends, do what He has called you to do. and do it whole heartedly.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Emotional

How beautiful emotions can be. The ones that are happy, inspiring, lovely and make you feel like you can do anything. And then are the opposite, sadness, depression, apathy and all the rest we feel.
Emotions can be dangerous things. It is so easy to be swept up in the emotions of life. To feel things and let those feelings be the guiding light that you follow blindly. There are so many ways that we can be emotional and not be emotional at the same time. Someone once told me that it's okay to show emotion. It's okay to let them come out and be out in the open. But having emotions shows your vulnerability. It shows that you're human, that you can't do things on your own, and that you ARE NOT in control. I know, it's a crazy concept. For some reason, I had felt like I couldn't show emotion or be emotional cause I had to have it all together. I had to look like I could handle everything. And let me tell ya, it was hard at first. Espeically because I've always been an emotional person. You know when I'm happy, sad, frustrated, irritated, joyful, inspired, deep and every other emotion under the sun, because I wear it on my sleeve. Yup, you guessed it. My whole life I've been told that it's good to show emotion, but you also need to know how to show emotion.
God has given us emotions to glorify Him. He tells us to "rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn." He tells us to worship him and praise his name. He tells us to be joyful and love those around us. Our God is a God full of emotion! He says to fear him!
So how can we, as humans, say that we should have emotions, we shouldn't feel?!
Surely NOT!
Be emotional, but in keep Christ in mind. How does your emotion glorify him? For he is truly the God of our emotions :)

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Beauty of Simplicity

How I long to get away for just a day, maybe a few hours, to just sit, talk with my Savior, my King, the one who always makes sense.

I wish that everything we did was simple and easy, black and white. It would make it a whole lot easier to understand life, to cope with it. And yet, the beauty of Simplicity is God. He doesn't require us to handle things on our own. He would rather have us give it to Him, and let Him deal with it.

1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxieties on Him, for he cares for you." Therefore, each of the cares that we have, the things we hold dear, the decisions we feel we have to make, the stresses that we are weighed down with, are not our burden to carry. They are His. He goes on to say, in Matthew 11:29-30, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Why do we hold on to the emotions of what is going on when we could let them go and give them to God, who actually DESIRES for us to let Him have them?! Beats me!

But that is my challenge to you. All of the things that you're holding onto, the temptations that you are giving into, give them to God. Right now, in this moment, make a commitment to Him that you won't take them back. You will let Him have them.

And if you need to, take that time to get away from the world, from the drama, from life, and spend some time just communing with your best friend. He'll love it! and so will you :)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Understanding...and Forgiveness

Ah yes, that beautifully frustrating word. Understanding.
Do you understand? is a phrase often used when asking someone if something was clearly explained. It is used when one person is trying to get a point across. It is asked when a friend tells you that you can't be friends. It's asked in many different circumstances, many different ways and the result varies. But almost always, you walk away with a sense of "understand," whether you actually do or not.

How is one supposed to understand when a friend tells you that you can't be as close as you once were? How are you supposed to forgive them and understand that that is what God wanted? When do you make the distinction between being able to be understanding and just not caring anymore about it? How do you try to comprehend, to understand, what your mind is focused on when the only thing you want is it to go away?!

The Father calls us to forgive those who have hurt us, to love those who don't understand His love, and to be Him to all people, everywhere. The world is here, telling us not to be understanding. Not to give grace. But to hold onto the bitterness, the anger, the confusion. To live in blind rage. But our Jesus, our precious Savior, has loved us so much that He wants us to express that to those around us.

Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

It's not being understanding. It's understanding the pain, the brokeness, the hurt. Recognizing it, beginning the healing process and coming out stronger.
Sadly, though, some of the hurt and pain can change the person that you are. It can alter the way you think, the way you process things, the way you look at yourself. And even if you know that all the things that you are believing are lies, you still don't want to let it go.
but that is where God's truth can speak to us the most. I was talking to Him yesterday and He spoke to me about trust.

Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understand; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

So first, we have to trust Him. Trust that His plan is better than our own plan, and He will prosper us.

In Jeremiah 29:11, it says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Then in Numbers 23:19, it says "God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"

Therefore, God wants us to know He has the best plans for us. And He also says that He fulfills the promises that he has spoken to us, that he has given us. And with that we know that He is good to His promise. So trust Him. Trust that what he has done in your life, fits perfectly into what He has next for you.

Now the question is, will you trust Him?