Rainstorm

To say I've been thinking a lot would be an understatement. Well, I mean I think a lot on a general basis, but recently, God has just been pounding me with stuff. And yes, I literally mean POUNDING. It feels like a rainstorm that hasn't stopped.


But here's the thing...I love rain.
So the rainstorm, is good. Because it's been teaching me a lot. He's been revealing more of who He is to me, but it has been so much all at once.


Where to begin...


Just like my blurb at the top of this blog says, "A heart searching and yearning more and more for her Savior." I've never been able to say that that is more how I feel right now, than ever before. Except that I'm also ACHING for more of Him. I wish I could describe to you just how much I desire to know Him, to put myself in last place, and have my vision just be encompassed with God. But there's always so many things getting in the way of that. It always seems to be something new. Granted, my life changes in the most rapid pace. As I sit here writing this my eyes fill with tears, because I am so moved by His love.








I've been going through this Bible study with some girls and the book that we're doing is called Be Transformed. We call it the Book of Pain. It is a hard book to go through. You have to want to be transformed to even read it. Some days, I just can't take it, and so I don't read it. That's how intense it is. Unfortunately, because of life, I haven't had a great opportunity to read it and learn from it. But I sat down this week and started going through lesson 4. It is entitled Getting to Know Our Heavenly Father. I thought I knew how I viewed God. I thought that I was good with it and my perception didn't need to change. But man was I wrong.

Our Perception of God Affects the Quality of Our Lives

There are 5 different perceptions that people have of God; the authoritarian father, the abusive father, the distant/passive father, the accusing father, and the absent father. All of these are skewed views that we have of God because our earthly father. Generally, we view God as we view our earthly father because that is the example that we are given. We aren't shown love from another man until later on down the road. But as a child we see our fathers and can't help but look at God the same way. It's the learning theory. There are dire consequences to seeing God in these ways. When we look at him with our skewed perspective we're putting him in our own little box even when we don't realize it. One of the things that really got me in the book was this line, 

"the way we treat and relate to others reveal a lot about how we see God." 

It just hit me. And this long spiral of memories of how I treat people came crashing through my brain. I had to put the book aside for the day and just think of that, ponder that one truth. The way that I treat people and relate to people shows my view of God. How humbling. I realized that my view of God was not what I thought it was. My instant thought was, 

I think of God as legalistic cause that's how it was growing up. 

I would love to say that I live in God's grace, I know it, I feel it. But the reality is that I don't. I know it in my head, but it's not engrained in my heart yet. I'm still trying to shake off 18 years of legalism. Almost 3 years ago my parents started this journey called the Grace Walk. And since then, grace is becoming more and more prevalent in our lives. Sadly, my heart hasn't been changed from the legalistic mentality yet. I strive to not be legalistic with others. God has so changed that in me, He has ripped that part of heart to shreds. And replaced it with a love that is not my own. That's not to say that I don't have bad days, we all do, and I feel like mine are more often than not. 

THEN God's grace overflows onto me.

Isn't that funny, God shows his grace constantly. That's how we're able to be his children. 

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this not of yourselves, it is the gift of God --

Ephesians 2:8 

Right AFTER that line from the book is a verse that spoke volumes to me. 

In this greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory. 

1 Peter 1:6-8

Read that one more time and really read it. Take it slow, and let it soak into you. 

My friends, God knows how you think of him, how you view him, how you perceive him. He knows all of those things. He knows your doubts, your desires, your heart. And he still chooses to love us. To hold us close. To have open arms, when we turn our backs. To forgive. 

A few nights ago I was talking with some amazing, Godly people at Grove Coffee late into the night. And forgiveness came up. I don't think about God's forgiveness much, honestly. Cause I figure he's forgiven me and I have nothing to worry about. But when it comes to forgiving others, or asking for forgiveness, it doesn't come that naturally. It's hard. The reality is that God desires us to forgive the way he has forgiven us. We are TOTALLY forgiven by our Father. 

 ³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. ⁴ For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love ⁵ he^[b] predestined us for adoption to sonship^[c] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— ⁶ to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. ⁷ In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace ⁸ that he lavished on us. 

Ephesians 1:3-8

Our Father has made us acceptable and delights in us. 

"The LORD your God is with you,
   the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
   in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
   but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17 

Accept one another, then, 

just as Christ accepted you, 

in order to bring praise to God.

Romans 15:7

But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation—

Colossians 1:22

We must CHOOSE to renew our minds about God. 

We must CHOOSE to act and react according to who God IS.

I really want to encourage you to think and pray about how you view God. That affects your relationship with Him more than you think. The way we think about God can be altered if we ask Him to do so. Let His grace wash over you. Be consumed by His love. Take inexpressible joy in His forgiveness. Show each of these things that you learn to those around you. Strive to be more like Him. It will come.