It Just Hits You In The Face

That is how life seems right now.

real life

Not just for me, though, for a lot of people.
Some who I don't know, and some who I do.

I was only in Thailand for 7 full days.
Walking those streets and seeing those people made me wonder about their lives. I saw them with their carts already set up at 8am in the morning and tearing them down well after 11pm. They knew their clientele's patterns and way of life. They had to stay open to survive; to make enough money to live. That is real life for them. Day in and day out.

It still doesn't seem real.

I'm sure the eb and flow of life is too much sometimes. I'm sure there are good days and there are bad days. I'm sure, because they are human too. Sometimes it is just too much. But it also depends on how you respond to life.

In some ways, we're not that much different. But in others, we live completely different lives. 

What makes the woman working as a street vendor tick? What makes the woman who sells herself at night take? Did they both were under the street? Do both wonder what their life would be like if it was different? How did God choose? How is God moving now? How can they live in such a religious mindset? Where their god doesn't do anything for them. Where their god doesn't love them. Knowing that they will pay for their sins in their "next life?"

My struggle isn't poverty.
My struggle isn't fearing for my life.
My struggle is ungratefulness.

We are so blessed in America. Too often, we forget that. Too often we think that our lives need to be better. Too often, we are consumed with fear of not having enough. The problem is we have way more than the average human being. And yet, we still find ourselves wanting more. 

So what do I do with this experience?  How is my life different? What do I do with the information? How do I let it change me? What was the point of it all?

These questions, I don't have answers to. But I know my God. He will tell me when the time is right. Right now, I need to trust Him. I need to see Him. I need to hear Him. I need to read His words. And His strength. I need His eyes. I just need Jesus. More and more of Jesus.