Beauty in Brokenness

I think I can do anything. Not because I'm good at everything. Oh no, trust me, I know when I'm NOT good at lots of things. My parents always taught me that I could do anything, because I have Jesus on my side. With Him, nothing is impossible.


Reinvent. No, that's not the right word.
Recreate. That's not it either.
Understand? Getting closer.
Figure it out...I guess.


One of my dear friends asked me if I could describe myself. "Of course!" I replied quickly. She looked at me, with love in her eyes. "Describe yourself as if you're on a first date with someone." My response? My mouth was hanging open.

Pause that thought for a second, I'll come back to it, I promise...but first, read this. 

{The Lay Counseling Program that I have going to since September has been reshaping me (there's a better word!), breaking me, showing me new things and challenging me to see truth. It is not easy. In fact, it is probably one of the most difficult things that I've done in my few years on this earth. It has taken every belief, thought and truth about myself, and questioned it. Good, right? More like, earth shattering. Everything that I knew about myself is being reevaluated.}

Back to my previous story. 

I sat down with my journal. And I wrote short, sweet sentences to describe myself. 
It went something like this... 

• I like to write
• I love to travel
• I don't want to just have one identity (one thing I'm known for)
• I love volleyball
• I'm afraid of the dark
• I don't like being alone for too long
• I worry 
• I have to understand things
• I like learning about different cultures

then it got deeper...

• I want to belong
• I need to be needed
• I don't understand why someone would want me
• I need to know things to think I'm worthy of attention
• I don't want to see my beauty in my brokenness

Looking at this list made me want to change something. I started praying. My wonderful mentor made sense to me about being wanted and needed. I am both. [But these were lies that I have believed for so long that they became truth to me.]

My challenge to you is to write those things down. 

The things that you know and think about yourself. 

Not the things that everyone tells you that you are. 

Read your list.

Which ones are truth? Which ones are lies? 

-Take them to Jesus.-

Ask Him to reshape, refine, renew.

Journey With Me

I've been alive for 23 years now. I don't remember what it was like to be a tiny human until the age of 5ish. One of my very first memories is laying in bed and across the room, my sister was laying on her bed. We whispered back and forth, but were soon told to go to sleep by my mother. I remember wondering what life would be like when I was older, as I drifted off to slumber-land.


In September, I start the program for my Lay Counseling Certificate. I have been preparing for it by reading the book assigned and reflecting on the content. The book is called, To Be Told, and it is written by Dan Allender. So much of this book is about {my story}. It's about coming to grips with the God-breathed story I have been living. But it also delves deep into my hurts, pains, anguish, and tragedy. I'm not one for the dramatics. I am very in-touch with my emotions. This allows me to feel deeply, in pretty much any situation, whether it is about me or someone else.

As I have been reading this book, those same deep emotions have been tapped into, exposed and left in the open. Which is incredibly painful. Along with all of these emotions, it seems that Satan is trying to come at me with every possible distraction. It has taken everything in me not to just scream my head off! I know that God is good. I know that this path is unknown, but it will be so worth it in the end.

{I want to invite you on this journey with me.} 

God is moving in my heart, my mind,

and all throughout my life. 

It is overwhelming.

It is unfamiliar. 

It is exhilarating. 

It is God-breathed!