Understanding

I titled this understanding because for me, it's been a time of understanding. God is showing me how much he wants all of my heart, all of my love, all my mind, all of who I am...He wants as His.

At the beginning of the week he was telling me that one thing that he wants from me is to not depend on other people's words so much. My love language is words of affirmation, which means that i LOVE LOVE LOVE when people tell me what I mean to them and how great they think I am. It may sound vain, but it's not meant like that in any way, it's an encouragement, an affirmation in words. Tonight God hit me with the reality of what it looks like. He showed me that I tend to put others words first, before his. He wants the first spot. He wants to be my number one word encourager. The only one that truly matters is what he says to me about me.
I was writhing in pain emotionally, balling on the my knees before him after I realized that all he wants, is to be my number one word encourager. That everyone else might give me praise, but first and foremost, he wants His to be heard.
Lately, I've been feeling that no one is truly excited for me to go and do what God has called me to do. It's not just an opportunity, it's what God has told me that I need to do. Without question. And sometimes I doubt myself after hearing how much I'm needed at a particularly place. In Luke 5:5, Peter says, "...Because you said so..." In the context he's saying that simply because Jesus said to let down his nets he would. Even though to everyone else, it was pointless to do so. He could be mocked and ridiculed for what he did, because to the world it doesn't make sense why he would let down his nets after he just pulled them in...EMPTY. And yet, he does it because Jesus told him to. That was the only reason.
And really, what more reason do we need?
My goal now is to listen to his words first and base everything I do off of his words. Listening to other opinions is good, because of the perspective, but they should never go before what God has told you to do. Ever.
Live in that truth. I challenge you to do that. Whether it's big or small. Seek Jesus first, and when he talks, listen. Then obey.